forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize