I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I could fuck to npr.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
