it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
