Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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