Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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