Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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