Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
