No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
