dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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