Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
