My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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