I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
