You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
