a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize