My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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