dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
