There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
