HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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