He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
BRING THE BAGELS
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
