Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
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I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
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Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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