I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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