So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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