After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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