The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
COCAINE IS GR8
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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