I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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