I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
