would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
