dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
