Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
