My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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