you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
