im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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