Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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