I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
