Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
