I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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