ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
