I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
