Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
