ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
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Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
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Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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