New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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