There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
