If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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