I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
