He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
