I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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