What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
