we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
