Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
