ugly people sure do ruin things
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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