I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
