her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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