new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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