They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
