At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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